I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
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