Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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