i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize