Whod you bang
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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