hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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