worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
