the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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