Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Duck Duck Cougar?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
