I should be sponsored by Trojan
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
