I'm really into asian looking animals
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
