I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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