Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
