i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
