you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
