well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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