he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You left your phone here
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