i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
