And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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