I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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