I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Still dying that you shit outside
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
