4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
