How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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