They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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