Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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