I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think people are normalizing furries
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
