i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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