She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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