Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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