ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
