it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
