I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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