Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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