Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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