come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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