Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize