just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
