Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
