obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
