Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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