Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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