so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
