Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
