I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
