It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
