You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I am one with the molecules
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
