i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
