Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize