Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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