yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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