In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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