I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize