so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
