Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
