Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
