You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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