For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
kristin has been a bad kristin
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
